A Day Without H2O

They are doing some repair work on our street today, so from 7AM until 5 PM, I will be water free. Ok, so I wasn't up at 7, but it's still a pretty rough thing to go through and has me thinking about all the stuff I had planned but cannot do today without this vital liquid. (And thinking of the people all over the world that have to deal with this all the time. It sucks big time.)

I started my day off forgetting that I could not
-Brush my teeth
-Wash my face
-Take a shower
-Shave my legs or pits
-Flush the toilet (note to self- Starbuck's visit may be in order)
-Make tea
-Drink water
-wash my hands after applying healthy glow lotion (translation- potentially orange palms)

So basically, without water, I am dirty and thirsty.
And kicking myself for not filling up the Brita and taking a shower last night.
It also has me thinking of other things I cannot do today, if I felt so inclined.
Like wash the car, water the plants, change the bong water, make mac-n-cheese, do the dishes or laundry, or make jello. And if I went for my afternoon run, I'd have to sit around with an even stinkier version of myself for a few hours, so I think I'll have to put that off for a bit.

Looks like I'll have to go sit on my deck with a book and a nice glass of wine, and wait for 5 o'clock to arrive. I am tempted to bathe in the cold ocean, but am now wondering if there is a well in Del Mar.

Fun 911 Calls

Maybe it's the lack of water but I'm in a giddy mood today and am laughing at 911 phone calls. They're all under a minute.
File under: What a Moron.
Heard this a year or so ago, but heard it again today, and it is just cracking me up.




This guy rocks



From Family Guy


I'm off to put out some snacks or something...

I Love Jesus, But I Drink A Little...and Wig Party 2009

Around 2 pm today the sun made a wise choice and decided to come out. The "marine layer" (aka fog) cleared, and it surprisingly turned out to be an insanely nice day again... So a friend and I decided to scrap our movie plans and headed to a beachfront happy hour somewhat prematurely at 3pm today, so i think this first clip is somewhat appropriate. And the second one I can watch over and over and still fall off the couch laughing. Especially the part after Steve lands and is gasping for air, uttering certain expletives and kicking the ground.
Buon Mercoledi!

I Love Jesus , But I Drink A Little


Steve eating shit
Me eating shit


Oh, and apparently, we're local celebs from our wig party last weekend... the fallone siblings even made the home page... http://www.seensd.com/

Goodnight, Sun...Again

Another January day in SD, another ridiculously beautiful sunset that deserved a standing ovation. To add onto yesterday's post, these are from my balcony from tonight...

I really love California.

Goodnight, Sun

There was an insanely beautiful sunset yesterday, so I thought I'd share some photos for those of you stuck in cold weather.

Is that a grenade in your pocket...?

Philip? Is that you?
He just doesn't look like a Phil to me...

Yesterday in the news, I saw my future boyfriend Johnny Knoxville was in some trouble with the law. Something about trying to bring a (non-working) grenade on an airplane at LAX. As I read on, I learned that his real name is Philip John Clapp. I figured Knoxville wasn't real, but had read he was John something. He just doesn't look like a Phil to me. Phil Knoxville doesn't really work either. Do these people name themselves or does some agency do it? I found myself online looking at celebrity real name sites (I know, I have too much free time these days) and some of them surprised me.

Did you know that Maya Angleou was born Marguerite Johnson?
Tori Amos' real name is Myra Ellen Amos.
Judy Garland = Frances Gumm.
Whoopi Goldberg = Caryn Johnson.
Robert Palmer = Alan Batley.
Joan Crawford = Lucille LeSueur
John Denver= Henry John Deutschendorf
Kirstie Alley= Gladys Lehman

Some people just change or drop their last names...
Billy Idol is really William Broad
David Copperfield is really David Kotkin
Meg Ryan = Margaret Hyra
Demi Moore= Demi Gynes
Natalie Portman = Natalie Hershlag
Stevie Wonder = Steveland Judkins
Winona Ryder = Winona Laura Horowitz

A few quizzes for you...no google cheating...
Name these celebrities...
1) A rocker born William Bailey
2) tan big guy Terry Bollea
3) Sexy crooner born Noah Kaminsky
4) everyone's favorite, Bernice Frankel
5) funny man Jacob Cohen
6) wig afficionado Reginald Kenneth Dwight

Oh and btw- I heard from a trusted source that Johnny/ Phil does not look so dazzling in person. I was crushed. Anyone seen him lately?

Looks like I May Be Heading Off Again...

Just when I was considering adding "think about settling down for a bit" to my to do list, it looks like I may be relocating.
I have an important job application to fill out this week
Tell me this "job" description was not tailor made for yours truly..

Australia offers up 'best job': lounge in paradise

SYDNEY, Australia– Position: Island caretaker. Duties: Lazing around Australia's Great Barrier Reef for six months. Salary: 150,000 Australian dollars ($100,000).

Unemployed, take heart — the aforementioned job ad is for real. Billing it the "Best Job in the World," the tourism department in Australia's Queensland state on Tuesday said it was seeking one lucky person to spend half a year relaxing on Hamilton Island, part of the country's Whitsunday Islands, while promoting the island on a blog.

The move is part of a AU$1.7 million campaign to boost tourism in the state. In exchange for the plush salary, free accommodation in an oceanfront villa and airfare from the winner's home country, the "employee" will be required to stroll the island's white sand beaches, snorkel, maybe take a dip in the pool — and post photos and videos of his or her experiences on a weekly blog.

"It'll be huge," Tourism Whitsundays chief executive Peter O'Reilly said, adding he expected thousands will apply.

Applications are open until Feb. 22 and 11 finalists will be flown to Hamilton Island in May for the final selection process. The job begins on July 1.

http://www.islandreefjob.com

-----------------------------------------------------

Hopefully, I'll be back in scuba gear, holding the hand of a handsome dive instructor, in no time.

Better dust off my Australian dictionary and start practicing...

Helmut's Chalet

A group of us went skiing in Vail for New Years' and had a fabulous time, thanks in part to some of the fun decorative things we found scattered throughout the Bavarian-ly decorated rental house. If you're looking for a place in Vail, and have an extra 2.5 million to throw around...good news, it's on the market. It was hardly a trailer, however, we were very disappointed to find that there were no pens, oven mitts, spoon rests, stainless steel appliances, working ice makers, drink holders on the balconies, or outdoor heat lamps. So buyer beware. Guess you have to step it up to 2.6 for those goodies.

The other great thing I re-learned about the mountains, is that in addition to the cloudy tap water, earaches, bloody noses, excessive gas, and water taking too long to boil due to the altitude....when you get winded in under a minute on the ski slopes because you are completely out of shape, you can blame *that* on the altitude as well.

A few photos of the house oddities at the Cortina Chalet...

You had to lock the door from the inside with a key.

No key required for the door window, however...

look out for peeping Steves

The stuffed animal collection in one bedroom, and the morning after...

Just the statue I've always wanted for my entry foyer!
A cute boy. With a dead hare between his legs.

And some of the fine art adorning the walls.
Who doesn't love fallen trees? And shipwrecks?

Bedside statues...

The kitchen had ceramic pigs, and ceramic lemons.

And who doesn't need an outlet on the ceiling? or wooden shoes filled with fake flowers?

We found a photo of the house owner, Helmut, and his Austrian Party Posse, and left it on the table to pay homage to our fabulous host throughout the week. (The house came fully stocked, and with no rules list)
But hands down, our favorite find was the ass photo...

Oh, and we had *nothing* to do with that guy falling out of his chair and losing his pants. Pinky swear.
Happy 2009!

Introducing The Daily One Minute Dance Party! Today's Guests: Timbaland and Keri Hilson

Back in Brooklyn, my dear friend Amy & I, as freelancers, often found ourselves in my apartment watching random shows at odd times of the day. On one such day, we were inspired by Ellen, and started to spontaneously break into one minute dance parties. It's only a minute, but it gets the old heart rate up for a bit, and it's better than nothing when you're couched. So during your next commercial break, click on the following clips and get your ass up off the couch with these 2 dudes.


"The Way I Are" - Timbaland featuring Keri Hilson and D.O.E.


and the jabbawockeez version

The Longest 7 Minutes of Your Life, Vail Style

Am glad we escaped Vail without any incidents like this one. Although I bet this poor guy gets a free lifetime lift ticket out of it. And maybe some therapy sessions to deal with the impending chairlift issues he's bound to have.

Chairlift Mishap Strips US Skier

A skier was left dangling from a chairlift at an American resort after he became stuck upside-down with his ski trousers round his ankles.

Photos show the man naked from his waist to his knees, swinging from one leg, and still wearing both skis.

He became entangled shortly after boarding the Skyline Express lift.

The lift was stopped and reversed about 12ft (3.6m) before he was freed by the Vail Ski Patrol, Vail Resort said in a statement about the 1 January incident.

The resort operator said the 48-year-old man was suspended for about seven minutes, but was uninjured.

And another report:

If you think people laugh at your skiing skills then think again. A man was a put into a precarious and undoubtedly embarrassing position while skiing with his child at Vail mountain last Friday.

According to reports:

the chairlift's fold-down seat was not in the correct lowered-down position - causing the man to partially fall through the resulting gap as he attempted to board the lift.

He was prevented from plummeting to the ground below by his right ski, which became jammed in the ascending lift.

And what's up with blogger? am having serious font and photo issues...