What we learned at Disneyland

1) Unfortunately, the parking garage does not accept magic, love, and / or Disney spirit as payment.

2) There is no alcohol sold within the park. (*** exception below)
There *are* several eating / drinking establishments with deceptively misleading names like The Mint Julep Bar and Refreshment Corner. But don’t waste your time sprinting to them for an early happy hour. Unless you want some juice or a Coke.

3) Fat people carts, fka The Jazzy, are now being referred to as “Electronic Convenience Vehicles” (ECVs). For those of you with legitimate non weight-related medical issues, and the elderly, ride away. To the rest of you, please consider walking.

4) Johnny Depp is even stunningly hot as a mechanical fake pirate figure. I almost fell out of the Pirates of the Caribbean boat several times turning around to ogle him. (No photo available. I was so starstruck I forgot about my cameraphone)



5) It is a children’s park.
This means, among other things, that Uncle Walt and staff will not allow you to purchase a photo of you and your friends on a ride if someone is performing a “boob grab” (Official Disney Terminology. I kid you not). They will, however, send a nice patient manager out to give their inflexible inappropriate photo policy spiel, and you will be kindly escorted back to the ride (ironically, to the front of the line, with the fat people waiting on their ECVs,) to re-ride and attempt a more Disney friendly retake.
So for all you boob grabbers…take a photo of your photo when it appears up on the wall at the end of the ride. We are kicking ourselves for not doing this.

6) When riding the carousel, they *will* yell at you over the loudspeaker if you start whipping your "horsies" with the leather seat belt strap. And they do refer to them as “horsies.”

7) In other Uncle Walt Is Always Watching You infractions…they *can* see you, in the dark, even on the water rides, when you stick your hand into the magic Disney rivers and splash your friends. This will also result in a public loudspeaker chastising.

8) Happily, none of these playful violations results in expulsion from the park, a trip to the naughty chair, or a stay in Disney Jail.
(But how much fun would Disney Jail be?!... Maybe next time. A girl can only dream. )

9) The place is insanely clean. Sweepers with cool hot dog cart like vacuums appeared on Main Street 3 minutes after the end of day Celebration parade to suck up the rainbow colored Mickey confetti that littered the ground. They don’t sell gum. This also means that you don’t see gum on the streets anywhere. I think Disney & Singapore are on to something. Streets and sidewalks look magically new and clean without gum and cigarette butts.

10) It’s a Small World is just as soothing and magical as it was when I was ten.



11) The crowd is interesting and diverse. Princess costumes optional, and of course, sold on site. (The kids XL ones looked potentially wearable, and although tempted, I left empty-handed, unable to find a Tinkerbell one. ) Along with $18 balloons and every imaginable product in your household that they could figure out how to re-brand as Disney.

For those contemplating a visit….

***In 2009, you can get in free on the day of your birthday. You can also get an Express Pass to cut lines. Your friends, however, will all have to pay $72 and wait in lines. But it was definitely worth it. The first week of school seemed to be a good time to go. Lines were all under 30 minutes most of our day, but got a bit longer for everything by late afternoon. A good part of the waiting time turned out to be in the shade, and even in A/C. Go Disney line planning department!

*** Per the staff, it should be packed Labor Day, then die down until Thanksgiving. So those of you with Sept Oct and Nov birthdays, get yourself over to see Mickey and friends pronto. Not sure if they’ll have this birthday thing next year…

***Re: the alcohol thing - You can get your hand stamped and take a 3 minute walk out to Downtown Disney and enjoy a wine or beer with your meal. And the new California Adventure Park does allow adults to drink responsibly. * There is a private place, Club 33, in the New Orleans section of the park that does serve beer and wine, but apparently it has a long wait list (13 years)to become a member. Club 33 Wikipedia

***For the smokers – there are 3 very scenic relaxing clean smoking sections in the park. I had to used them just on principle. If I couldn't drink, I was at least going to smoke. Check your map…one is near Matterhorn, the other by Thunder Mtn Railroad. The other is a bit more hidden and close to the site of our boob-grab incident.

***You can bring water and plastic bottles into the park, but glass is a no-no.


-Princess Rita

What Happens In Vegas

Unfortunately, I re-learned the hard way, again, and would like to remind you that:
a) 30 something bodies cannot rage or recover as well as 20 something bodies
b) 2 nights in Vegas is PLENTY
b1) it is entirely possible to lose 8 pounds in 3 days
c) you have a much better time if you know someone - the lines are REALLY long, especially at XS at the Wynn, and especially on holiday weekends
d) Not to be a party pooper, but... you should stick to well lighted crowded areas, with buddies - our friend stumbled into a crime scene in the Hard Rock parking garage. I'll spare the details, but there was full on blood cleanup involved. And the words "multiple homicide".



The handsome boyfriend & I headed to Sin City for my 34th this past Memorial Day weekend and I might still fail at a sobriety checkpoint. We stayed at The Palazzo suites at The Venetian, which was a beautiful place with huge rooms and lots of flat screens. Highly recommend it, although I think they were experiencing a dish shortage, as they were a bit pushy and constantly knocking to ask if we had our room service trays ready to return. If you go there - The Tao Beach Pool is small packed and like a spring break crowd. Head over to the Azure Pool, and say hi to the hostess, Marcia from last season's Rock of Love Bus. You'll spend *way* too much cash for a poolside bed, but can enjoy great overpriced Wolfgang Puck food and drinks while you lounge.

We got to see my other boyfriends from New Zealand, Flight of the Conchords, at the Joint at the Hard Rock. Fantastic show - they started dressed as robots singing Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor. A lot of new stuff, and classics like Business Time. Can I count them as one on my Fab Five Fave list?


If anyone wants to get those last few pesky pounds off before summer, I highly recommend the Vegas Diet. We lost approximately 2 lbs per day.

Once again, I ended up at the Vegas airport checking into an earlier flight than planned.
But at least Southwest didn't lose our luggage.
And a nice big fat Bite Me to Continental Airlines, who still have not found the boyfriend's Costa luggage. Virgin America Baby! Here I come!

Other weekly highlights:

Quote of the week - AK at my birthday wine party, when asked if she was hungover after a very late drinkful Sunday night..." Not at all, I danced my hangover off."

Favorite Chinglish Signs, from my B-day present book from ehlen:
On an Escalator:
Keep Your Legs. No Running.

On A Trash Can Near ATM:
Please Don't Dump Your Receipt and Keep It Carefully To Avoid Gangster Get Your Information.

A Bunch of Random Monday Thoughts, and a Spontaneous Trip to the FBR Open in Scottsdale

FAVORITE EMAIL OF THE DAY
In my inbox this morning were some coupons for this month's specials at my local salon. Gotta love California.
This one was my favorite.

I read their "menu" and learned that they also do anal- bleaching. Reminded me of JB's blog about Boyzillians in Singapore.

WEEKEND GETAWAY
For some reason I woke up around 545AM on Saturday and when I checked to see what time it was, I saw some texts on my phone from friends visiting Scottsdale for the FBR Open Golf Tournament telling me to get myself out there. Long story short, at 7AM I was in my car heading for the airport, and at 835 my flight was taking off for Phoenix. We didn't watch too much golf but spent a nice afternoon relaxing in the sun on (or rolling down) a hill near some green that a few golfers passed through.

Some notes to myself, and tips for any of you who may visit next year on how to make the most of this event:

-Bring my "exotic" shoes to be shined at the Phoenix Airport. I have been trying to figure out which of my shoes might qualify as "exotics." The shoeshine man was not present for me to inquire, and I am still insanely curious about his history with exotics.
- Stay at the Mondrian Hotel in Scottsdale. It has white astro turf on spacious balconies, which was totally new to me. Actually, the whole hotel was pretty white. And the lobby felt like I was in a (white) Miami hotel.
-When driving from California, there is a border checkpoint at Arizona with some big doggies that sniff your car as they pass it.
-When driving back to California from Arizona, there are 2 border control spots but they are only interested in you if you have a Mexican family hiding in your trunk. If you are white, they seem to wave and smile. It is pure racial profiling at its finest. Wasn't this banned back in the garden state?
-When at the tourney, drive past the $20 parking lots, there are some $10 lots around the corner
-If you bury your cell phone / camera good inside your purse, you can bring it in. Should have brought mine, then I'd have some photos.
-Drink ahead of time. It's crowded, beer tents were few and far between with long lines. But at the makeshift pub, waitresses come out to the line and will sell you beer. And only beer. Nothing but beer. We heard there was a real bar somewhere but as we shuffled around all day like a packed herd of cattle, we never found it.
-Skip the crowded wrist banding station when you first walk in. There are some further in with no lines.
-Be prepared for a day of only porta-potties... however it is that you like to prepare yourself for such an event...purell, extra tp, some noseplugs. Unfortunately, flip flops are not your friend in these situations. (side note- has anyone seen the aussie mockumentary film "Kenny" about the porta-potty company guy? it's a classic in my book)
-Get a program. It might be helpful when trying to figure out who you are watching.

-Dinosaurs are not extinct. They are alive and well and seem to congregate near Shell stations in Arizona.
-The drive back from Scottsdale is through a lot of pretty desert, and you'll dig it if you're into cacti like i happen to be. There are also dunes as you get closer to SD where I hear they filmed some Return of the Jedi scenes. It looks like a cool place to park your RV and ride around on some quads.

-The sheep must remain inside the vehicle while you make pit stops. Sorry folks, no quickies in the bathroom.

And the award for Best Overhead Quote of the Day Goes to a 20-ish girl, crying hysterically on her cell phone, wandering around in 85 degree heat near the tournament gate, saying " But I've never taken Ecstasy before..."

TIGGER MAKING HEADLINES
So those (approximately 8 ) of you who read an old blog of mine may recall my old buddy, Michael Phelps aka "Tigger". I was glad to hear today that so far some of his sponsors (speedo and Omega Watches) have stated publicly that they are not dropping him after photos of his monster bong hit heard round the world surfaced. (Who took and leaked these anyway?) I say cut the guy some slack. He set how many records? And he's in the off season. And it is technically a performance *diminshing* drug. And he looks like Tigger. A FOXSports.com poll found that 79 percent of readers chose "He's 23, can we all relax?"
Here is the photo if you haven't seen it. It's a pretty decent sized bong. But I'm guessing he's got some pretty decent sized lungs.

Is that an Omega watch he's wearing? I think they have their next ad campaign...

You say White Elephant, I say Cutthroat Pollyanna.

Sadly, I will be missing the annual festivities back east this year, and will not have the opportunity to outdo last year's contribution of the re-gifted ultra-lovely sheer accordion sleeved ruffled pirate's / poet's blouse. But on the bright side- Heather, you can continue to rock it for one more year. (I know, I'm too kind. ) And I won't be offended if you want to spread the fashion love and re-regift it.

Before I head west, I have a confession to make- I had to cheat on the group this year. I needed my holiday fix, and got to play a few weeks ago at Bryan & Carol's in SD. Cocky me I thought I had the Star Wars Monopoly game in the bag, and tried to hide it, but it was stolen from me at the last minute. Luckily, I came home not only with flashing holiday socks, but also some fabulous faux-flannel Homer Simpson Holiday boxers.

The bird in this photo was my favorite gift, which I would like to offer to the NJ-NYC-PA crowd as my long distance contribution for this year. I am sure this timeless classic would look beautiful in any room of your house.

Happy New Year! From Me & Petey the Parrot

Girls' Night, with Teens and Cougars...SYTYCD Live Show in San Diego 2008

So I did one of the dorkier things I've done in awhile, and went with some girlfriends to see the So You Think You Can Dance live show last night. I thought it would be all kids and teenagers, and the parents who took them there, but it was a very mixed crowd and we actually weren't the only ones of driving age who attended. And also surprisingly, it wasn't a dry event. We didn't realize this until after halftime, but good to know for the future. The top 10 and a few extras from the show danced as (too short) solos, pairs, and in a few group numbers...seems they picked the season's highlights and just fine tuned them. The show was more entertaining than I expected, but also too long. And nobody fell or messed up badly, so that was kind of a bummer.

If you are planning to see it when it comes to your city, here are some of our post show thoughts...

Pros-
*Dancers have been practicing and are in better shape & dance better than on the show
*The guys with the really hot bodies had their shirts off for most of the night. Thank you costume team.
*It's not a dry event
*Songs were mostly pretty good- mix of mellow, hip hop, and a few showtunes
* I was reminded that I needed to add Twitch to my Tigger list (see first blog post). I *knew* I had forgotten someone...

Cons-
*Crappy sound system with too loud music (it was a slightly low budget run down venue, so not the show's fault, i guess)
*Dumb mini-skits they had the dancers doing in between dances. The kids seemed to enjoy them. We say stick to dancing.
*Not enough (any?) new performance material, with the exception of the solos
*Too much product placement and show promotion / constant highlight recaps...and I think we could have lived without the dancing Snuggle bear at halftime...
* Speaking of, it didn't need an intermission, but i guess people spend money then, so they had one, which killed the momentum of the show and made it too long
*Area restaurants packed pre-show- so if you're going to Sports Arena in SD, don't plan on a quick bite a Chili's or the oh so trendy Olive Garden. Don't even plan on being able to get through the front door. There's a nice empty thai place just up the road on the right....
*Not the best type of show when seated a bit far away / up higher. Try to sit on the sides, floor level, close to the stage so you can see their faces (ok, glistening sweaty rock hard bodies) better.

I also discovered a few mellow pretty songs that I like...
Hallelujah and also Misery Business- Vitamin String Quartet
Hometown Glory - Adele
Rock Your Soul- Elisa
The Garden- Mirah (a bit creepy)
And they did a cool Bollywoodish thing that I think was Shankar Mahadevan...a song called JBJ. (No mich, not him)

But hands down, the highlight of the evening was the latest in cougar fashion, being sported by our (50 something) neighbor in the photo above. That we had to stare at for the entire show.

Chick at her first Chargers Game

Last night, I decided to check out my new football team, the san diego (super) chargers, and headed down to Qualcomm stadium, along with 74,000 other people. Unfortunately, my new stadium has only 10,000 or so parking spots, and crappy public transport, so to say that getting in and out was a complete clusterfuck is a bit of an understatement.
But we persevered, made a few questionable u turns, and last minute merges, and found a nice little neighborhood about a mile away from the stadium, with a guy just leaving his spot. (thank you again, parking karma.) It was an easy stroll downhill to the game, and we chatted with a nice gentleman out on probation and his lovely girlfriend, but this left us with a nice refreshing uphill walk (steep climb) after the game. I am happy to report that we survived. And didn’t have to pay for parking, and actually ended up being closer to the freeway than those stuck in hopeless gridlock in the "premium" lots after the game. so i'm not bitching.
But next time, I will be taking the trolley, and leaving plenty of time for tailgating.

It was a total mob scene at the gates, but while waiting, we got to see those super loud supersonic looking air force fighter jets cruise over the parking lot and then the stadium, and I got excited like a 5 year old. I think I even clapped and said "yay" as i jumped up and down. And then karma showed up again, and let all the chicks go to the shorter frisk-you-and-pretend-to-check-your-purse line.

We made it to our seats just in time for kickoff. They happened to be playing the NY Jets, one of my old favorite teams. My loyalties were torn throughout the whole game and I found myself secretly cheering for both teams, and when my neighbors questioned me, i stuck with the political answer of "I just want to see a good game where both teams play well, and the quarterbacks get sacked a lot." And we got just that. A whole bunch of touchdowns, interceptions, long runs, and my favorite part, the post sack and post touchdown dances. we have some promising dancers in sd and I look forward to their upcoming performances.
But honestly, other than LT, I don’t think I can name 5 players yet. I learned that our QB is Philip Rivers and we have 2 guys named antonio (LT= LaDanian Tomlinson…that was an easy one, half the stadium was wearing his jersey, and he's the only one ever on the news. Lawrence Taylor LT, as it turns out, has *not* made a comeback in San Diego)
I bought a program on the way out, and will have to study it before my next game to avoid embarrassment as I try to sound like I have a clue while tailgating with potential suitors.

but cut me some slack, this was my first trip to the stadium , and anyone who has attended sporting events with me knows, it's really all about locating the best nearby food stands with the shortest lines. so I did a recon half lap and missed a good part of the 3rd qtr while searching for pizza. but I found it, and the good news is that it was well worth the walk, and was probably the best $6 slice I've had in awhile. ( Though tempted, I decided not to spring for the $40 pie.) Unlike our baseball stadium, the football one is not so new. Very giants stadium like, big and made of concrete, and nothing fancy as far as concessions go. I did find a grill that made some tasty looking sandwiches, but the cheese fry hunt was a complete failure. beer still costs $8-9 so it's not just a ny thing, and the pretzels were warmish but not stale or hard.

back at our seats, they had concession guys walking around selling snacks, but I noticed the absence of the 'beer here" guys yelling at the crowd. i will have to investigate this further. but the other good news- you don’t have to leave your seat to get your churros fix taken care of. I was so full by the time I saw them and the last one I ate years ago was like a dripping grease stick, so my stomach went into minor spasms as the guy approached my section. but I have to expand my horizons and will give them a try next time. Can you dip them in anything? Like cheese? Or fudge? Or a handful of paper towels?

I was also happy to find that the chargers crowd is a lot louder and more into their team than the fan-like people who attend padres games. petco park sounded like the library compared to the echoing roar of the stadium last night. It was the only time since I've moved out here that it actually felt like ny energy for a bit. the chargers won, 40 something to 20 something. You can check espn if you want the real game stats. It was cool to see Brett Favre playing in Jets uniform, and hope he stays awhile before retiring again.

I have to say, my favorite part of the whole night…after the chargers get a touchdown…fireworks!!! They scared me at first,when they shot out of the endzone score board near us, I almost hit the deck to avoid the gunfire, but by the 3rd time, I was ready for them! I had no idea i'd see fireworks when i got up this morning...I thought I'd have to wait until next 4th of july. life is great sometimes...I will definitely be returning again this season. By trolley.

(photo way up top is an actual TD in progress, with the guy in the bottom right just crossing the goal line....above is steve with his my name is earl facial hair. and the bottom one is a random couple that was taking awhile, so i just included them, and their attempted self portrait.)