A Bunch of Random Monday Thoughts, and a Spontaneous Trip to the FBR Open in Scottsdale

FAVORITE EMAIL OF THE DAY
In my inbox this morning were some coupons for this month's specials at my local salon. Gotta love California.
This one was my favorite.

I read their "menu" and learned that they also do anal- bleaching. Reminded me of JB's blog about Boyzillians in Singapore.

WEEKEND GETAWAY
For some reason I woke up around 545AM on Saturday and when I checked to see what time it was, I saw some texts on my phone from friends visiting Scottsdale for the FBR Open Golf Tournament telling me to get myself out there. Long story short, at 7AM I was in my car heading for the airport, and at 835 my flight was taking off for Phoenix. We didn't watch too much golf but spent a nice afternoon relaxing in the sun on (or rolling down) a hill near some green that a few golfers passed through.

Some notes to myself, and tips for any of you who may visit next year on how to make the most of this event:

-Bring my "exotic" shoes to be shined at the Phoenix Airport. I have been trying to figure out which of my shoes might qualify as "exotics." The shoeshine man was not present for me to inquire, and I am still insanely curious about his history with exotics.
- Stay at the Mondrian Hotel in Scottsdale. It has white astro turf on spacious balconies, which was totally new to me. Actually, the whole hotel was pretty white. And the lobby felt like I was in a (white) Miami hotel.
-When driving from California, there is a border checkpoint at Arizona with some big doggies that sniff your car as they pass it.
-When driving back to California from Arizona, there are 2 border control spots but they are only interested in you if you have a Mexican family hiding in your trunk. If you are white, they seem to wave and smile. It is pure racial profiling at its finest. Wasn't this banned back in the garden state?
-When at the tourney, drive past the $20 parking lots, there are some $10 lots around the corner
-If you bury your cell phone / camera good inside your purse, you can bring it in. Should have brought mine, then I'd have some photos.
-Drink ahead of time. It's crowded, beer tents were few and far between with long lines. But at the makeshift pub, waitresses come out to the line and will sell you beer. And only beer. Nothing but beer. We heard there was a real bar somewhere but as we shuffled around all day like a packed herd of cattle, we never found it.
-Skip the crowded wrist banding station when you first walk in. There are some further in with no lines.
-Be prepared for a day of only porta-potties... however it is that you like to prepare yourself for such an event...purell, extra tp, some noseplugs. Unfortunately, flip flops are not your friend in these situations. (side note- has anyone seen the aussie mockumentary film "Kenny" about the porta-potty company guy? it's a classic in my book)
-Get a program. It might be helpful when trying to figure out who you are watching.

-Dinosaurs are not extinct. They are alive and well and seem to congregate near Shell stations in Arizona.
-The drive back from Scottsdale is through a lot of pretty desert, and you'll dig it if you're into cacti like i happen to be. There are also dunes as you get closer to SD where I hear they filmed some Return of the Jedi scenes. It looks like a cool place to park your RV and ride around on some quads.

-The sheep must remain inside the vehicle while you make pit stops. Sorry folks, no quickies in the bathroom.

And the award for Best Overhead Quote of the Day Goes to a 20-ish girl, crying hysterically on her cell phone, wandering around in 85 degree heat near the tournament gate, saying " But I've never taken Ecstasy before..."

TIGGER MAKING HEADLINES
So those (approximately 8 ) of you who read an old blog of mine may recall my old buddy, Michael Phelps aka "Tigger". I was glad to hear today that so far some of his sponsors (speedo and Omega Watches) have stated publicly that they are not dropping him after photos of his monster bong hit heard round the world surfaced. (Who took and leaked these anyway?) I say cut the guy some slack. He set how many records? And he's in the off season. And it is technically a performance *diminshing* drug. And he looks like Tigger. A FOXSports.com poll found that 79 percent of readers chose "He's 23, can we all relax?"
Here is the photo if you haven't seen it. It's a pretty decent sized bong. But I'm guessing he's got some pretty decent sized lungs.

Is that an Omega watch he's wearing? I think they have their next ad campaign...

Girls' Night, with Teens and Cougars...SYTYCD Live Show in San Diego 2008

So I did one of the dorkier things I've done in awhile, and went with some girlfriends to see the So You Think You Can Dance live show last night. I thought it would be all kids and teenagers, and the parents who took them there, but it was a very mixed crowd and we actually weren't the only ones of driving age who attended. And also surprisingly, it wasn't a dry event. We didn't realize this until after halftime, but good to know for the future. The top 10 and a few extras from the show danced as (too short) solos, pairs, and in a few group numbers...seems they picked the season's highlights and just fine tuned them. The show was more entertaining than I expected, but also too long. And nobody fell or messed up badly, so that was kind of a bummer.

If you are planning to see it when it comes to your city, here are some of our post show thoughts...

Pros-
*Dancers have been practicing and are in better shape & dance better than on the show
*The guys with the really hot bodies had their shirts off for most of the night. Thank you costume team.
*It's not a dry event
*Songs were mostly pretty good- mix of mellow, hip hop, and a few showtunes
* I was reminded that I needed to add Twitch to my Tigger list (see first blog post). I *knew* I had forgotten someone...

Cons-
*Crappy sound system with too loud music (it was a slightly low budget run down venue, so not the show's fault, i guess)
*Dumb mini-skits they had the dancers doing in between dances. The kids seemed to enjoy them. We say stick to dancing.
*Not enough (any?) new performance material, with the exception of the solos
*Too much product placement and show promotion / constant highlight recaps...and I think we could have lived without the dancing Snuggle bear at halftime...
* Speaking of, it didn't need an intermission, but i guess people spend money then, so they had one, which killed the momentum of the show and made it too long
*Area restaurants packed pre-show- so if you're going to Sports Arena in SD, don't plan on a quick bite a Chili's or the oh so trendy Olive Garden. Don't even plan on being able to get through the front door. There's a nice empty thai place just up the road on the right....
*Not the best type of show when seated a bit far away / up higher. Try to sit on the sides, floor level, close to the stage so you can see their faces (ok, glistening sweaty rock hard bodies) better.

I also discovered a few mellow pretty songs that I like...
Hallelujah and also Misery Business- Vitamin String Quartet
Hometown Glory - Adele
Rock Your Soul- Elisa
The Garden- Mirah (a bit creepy)
And they did a cool Bollywoodish thing that I think was Shankar Mahadevan...a song called JBJ. (No mich, not him)

But hands down, the highlight of the evening was the latest in cougar fashion, being sported by our (50 something) neighbor in the photo above. That we had to stare at for the entire show.

Welcome to The Nocturnal Nomad - The List of Lists

Hi all!

So I finally got around to making a real blog. And I'm going to try to post somewhat regularly. I tried the other day, but I was really stumped for a name, and I figured I should decide on that first, because it's probably one of those things that's a pain in the ass to change later.

So my first thought was 1001 Places to See Before I Go Back to Work...but it's a bit lengthy. And those book people would probably sue me, and I don't really enjoy lawsuits. So I thought, hmm, what can I call it? It was approaching 4 am, and the word Nocturnal somehow sprang to mind. And since I was unpacking at the time, and seem to always be packing and unpacking and wandering lately, Nomad also seemed somewhat appropriate. And I don't think nomads are really the litigious type, so I think I should be safe in that department. I toyed with "The Nomadic Nocturne", but it doesn't quite flow off the tongue with the same grace, and made me sound like i had some type of sleepwalking issue. So the Nocturnal Nomad it is. And will stay until I think of something better and then figure out how to change it.

So as I was making my To Do list for the day (yes, I actually make them,... sometimes, I actually do the stuff) I realized that not only do I have a lot of things to do, I have a lot of lists I need to make. So I decided to back it up a step and make a list of lists. Some of these I may blog about later, others, I'll spare you the details.
Here goes:

- People Who Look Like Tigger - Kobe Bryant, Mario Lopez, and my most recent addition, Michael Phelps...

c'mon . don't you see it??

and my latest addition
twitch! from so you think you can dance

- Fab 5 Fave Freebies-or something like that- Recently, I learned that I'm supposed to have a prepared list of people I could cheat on my partner with and it wouldn't count. I was unaware of this, but I like it, and will definitely implement it. I just have to think about my list first. But David Duchovny was instantly my top pick when asked several weeks ago. And that was *before* his little recent scandal. If he could be elevated any higher than #1, he would be now.
And on this topic, I think that chicks should just get George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, The ER Guys, and The Grey's Anatomy guys as freebies...like the TRSNL E thing on wheel of fortune. Guys, you can have Angelina as a freebie, and who else? Halle Berry? And you can have the guys too. Enjoy.

-Recap of Trips from the Past Year - I have to post photos / stories from quite a few trips. The original plan was to blog as I went. But I'm really good at procrastinating....

-Stats and Highlights from my leisurely cross country drive- # days on the road, miles driven, # hotels slept in, toiletries taken, # accidents, cookbooks purchased, $$$ gas, oddest art exhibits (Mobile, AL which also happened to have *the best* eggs benny in the country, hands down...)





- CA trips- Napa, Carmel / Monterey and aquarium, LA La BreaTar Pits (they found bison and mammoths and eagles and wolves and all sorts of fun stuff in there, and they still bubble and smell like tar, right smack in the middle of LA), Cabo (almost Cali)



-Reality Shows that Don't Make Me Puke -
They mostly involve
--Food (top chef, no reservations...ok so i have crushes on tom colicchio and anthony bourdain, so that helps too)
--Fashion (project runway, what not to wear)
--People falling down (wipeout, american gladiator, jon & kate plus 8)
--People dancing like I like to think I look like when I go hit the clubs (america's best dance crew....i will make an exception here, the bad dancing in the first few rounds of crappy reality shows is definitely a guilty pleasure)
--Beautiful people (Make me a Supermodel...mmmm.what a slice of the gene pool they found for that cast)

???I am on the fence about america's next top model because although I like the concept, and that nigel guy keeps me tuned in at times...
1) tyra makes me want to puke with all her posing and narcissistic setups.
2) nobody has ever become america's next top model. ok, so the one chick is banging bobby brady. whoop dee do.
3) most of the girls are those almost very attractive but butt ugly too thin model types with big facial features that look weird on the street but perfect in vogue with heaps of makeup and big odd hats and/or sunglasses
4) i think tyra really needs some help. maybe her meds need to be rebalanced? sometimes, she scares me a little bit

-Joke for a Smoke Jokes - Was recently trained by a friend to ask for a joke when someone bums a smoke off me. I will one day write these down. And then post them.
For now- one told to me by a nice mexican gentleman outside a bar in Carmel, CA
What did the mexican say when his house fell on him? (Answer below, at bottom)


- People I'd Like to Be Reincarnated As- I'm fine with me for this life, but it would be pretty cool to be some saucy little spanish or brazilian number born with natural rhythm and an ass...or maybe an asian chick (all guys love asian chicks, no?)...or a really tall guy who can dunk a basketball

-SE Asia highlights, and the best of mis-translated English....Cambodia easily took the crown, here are 2 of many...



-Questions to Ask My Grandparents - they're getting old....stuff like how to grow the perfect tomatoes and roses, where exactly they grew up in nyc, and their first family cars and telephones (they shared the same line with neighbors and had to call the operator back then. and then the dinosaurs connected the lines for them)

- Stuff That Should Be in Every Good Junk Drawer- and random things I found in my junk drawers...I recently inherited one when I moved in with my roommate, and the guy stuff in there *fascinates* me. Way beyond duct tape...all sorts of little metal knobby things. I need a lesson.

- Reality Shows I'd Actually Audition for - Amazing Race, Not sure about Fear Factor & Wipeout, but think my arm could be twisted into an audition...Around the World and In the Bedroom with Tony Bourdain and/or Mike Rowe (ok, so they're not shows *yet*, just planting the seed...)
I would totally be up for some makeover show as long as it didn't involve throwing out my entire wardrobe. And Pimp My Ride? ...that's a no-brainer...I love my Lucy, but she could definitely use some updates to bring her into this millennium...I don't need flat screens in each seat, maybe just a giant sunroof, some cruise control action, and a pink jersey glo-lite underneath? dancing light license plates and windshield wipers, too? am i pushing it? OK, just get the Airbag and Check Engine lights to stop flashing when I drive uphill & I'm a happy camper....Someone please call mtv for me...i'm getting excited.

-Easy Green Changes- this one requires some planning- i'm planning to email y'all about what you've done over the past few years to make the world greener / reduce your so-called "carbon footprint" - like switching to cloth napkins, offsetting your flight pollution (continental.com has an easy option now), getting a drain catcher for shower hair...see photo below of packaging for the one my landlady gave me after a hairball the size of a small raccoon was removed from my drain. (Looking back, I really do wish I had asked the plumber for a photo with the hair pile before he carted it off. .. I wonder how often he gets that request) Apparently, this high tech hair catching apparatus, aka "The Hair Snare" was bought at the 5 and dime in the 1960's and kept in her closet (or drain? ew!) I have to say, it looks ugly, but it works. No more drain rodents from this girl's shower.

Ok,I am going to split this in 2 and post more next time... I think I have plenty of lists to work on once I tackle my real life to do list. Or procrastinate some more and tackle my fake to do lists.

Any topics you'd rather hear about first??? What did I miss?
Thanks for reading this far, and stay tuned!
They won't all be this long...


And a special moment of silence for Johnny Cash, who passed away 5 years ago today at the ripe age of 71. I'll let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away.


Answer- Yo! Get off me, homes!