Weekly One Minute Dance Party with Joss and Common

Get your lazy butt up off the sofa for a brief minute or two, and get down with the lovely Joss Stone, to the song that happens to be stuck in my head at the moment.
It's a slightly mellow but soulful and hip moving rhythm this week.
So the out of shape can probably groove with her for the whole song.
Enjoy. Joss rocks. The Common rap is a bit of a buzz kill if you ask me.
But Joss still rocks. Sing it,baby.

For Grandpa Milo - Merry Christmas Dear Ones

It took a room full of people about 5 minutes of clapping and cheering, but we finally coaxed a smile out of him and captured it at my cousin's wedding in October in the photo above.
A belated post of a sad but nice poem that my uncle read this Christmas, a few days after we lost our grandpa.
The poem is a bit on the religious side for me, and may be for much of my reading crowd (all 8 of you :)) so feel free to substitute your higher power of choice for the Jesus parts if you feel so inclined.

MERRY CHRISTMAS DEAR ONES

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below,
with tiny lights, like heaven's stars, reflecting in the snow.
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away that tear,
for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the Christmas songs that people hold so dear,
but the sound of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
for it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

I know you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart,
but I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones.
You know I hold you dear and be glad I'm spending Christmas,
with Jesus Christ this year.

I send you each a special gift,
from my Heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory, of my undying love.
After all "Love is the gift, more precious than pure gold."
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do,
for I can't count the blessings or love He has for each of you.
So, have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I'm spending Christmas, with Jesus Christ this year.

The Truth About Being a First Time Mom, As Told to Me by my Friends, and Mom

Babies, babies, and one more baby!

There seems to have been something in the air about 9 or 10 months ago, as proven by the recent baby boom among my girlfriends. A belated congratulations to Mich & Todd (and big brother dog Nick) on the arrival of little Cassidy, and to K&W on Isabel's arrival. Today, I'd like to send cross country congratulations to Sarah & Marc & their new little baby, Vincent Blu.
Good luck guys!

For Mich's shower, I solicited my mama friends for advice...
What should you expect with your first baby that the books don't really tell you?
What do you do with a new baby?
What surprised you?
I think they are brilliant, and they haven't (seriously) harmed a baby yet.
Here is what they came up with....

(This is a long one, so if you don't have or aren't planning on having babies, skip to the next one...)

Get a pedicure before your due date so that when you are feeling all gross after the birth, at least you will have pretty toe nails.

The coming home outfit should be simple (like a sleeper, not a fancy dress) and size Newborn (rather than 0-3 months) is best – she won't fit into the NB either, but at least she won't look so lost.

Stay at the hospital as long as you can because once you are home, you won't be able to rest as much as you can in the hospital and don't feel guilty about sending the baby to the nursery at night - they will bring her to you when she needs you - you will spend plenty of nights with her once you are home.

If they offer bath classes or any other classes on the maternity floor while you are there, go to them.

Watch how the nurses swaddle her - they are amazing – practice as much as you can while you have the nurses to guide you. I still can't do it the way they can.

RELAX. Your baby does not know whether the left corner should be folded before the right corner on a receiving blanket or whether her feet should be bathed before her arms. If you act relaxed, your baby will be relaxed.

Use an adult emery board to file her nails (bring one to the hospital - they come out with long nails. The baby ones take forever to file and you can get much closer to the skin with the emery board as opposed to the nail file. File while she is asleep on your lap after nursing

If you have to get a urine catheter - make sure it is hidden under a blanket or under the bed before you have visitors - it is kind of embarrassing. Mine wasn't hidden when big sister A came to visit newborn brother L for the first time and we have her asking about it on video so I can continue to be embarrassed for the rest of my life.

Keep a journal of things - like when she naps or when she first started doing things like rolling over, etc bc you are going to want to compare your next one to the first and even though you think you won't forget the first time she rolls over -- you will.

Let grandparents, friends, husbands, neighbors do whatever they offer.....cleaning, errands, food prep, dog walking, etc...

Accept help, even if it is not as perfect as you think it should be. There are many ways to do things and there are many babies who have survived.

When you get home from hospital, expect: (a) to not recognize your body. (b) to be too tired to make simple phone calls or get anything done. To not care about (a) or (b).

Between hormones and exhaustion don't be surprised at how emotional you can be the first few weeks.

Don't be surprised when you leave the hospital that you still look 5 months pregnant! I was shocked. I expected my stomach to be a lot flatter quicker.

Pooping--it can take awhile after giving birth for you to be able to poop normally again.... take the stools softeners the nurses offer.

Go easy on yourself - don't expect too much at first in terms of getting back to your normal life – it will come. In the mean time, enjoy having just one little one to focus on, because it won't be the same the second (or third) time around.

Be prepared to have night sweats when you get home - I can't remember if I had them with first baby girl A, but I had them for 5 months with second child L, and just a week with third child, K. I slept with a towel under me.

Have some of those thin over night pads with wings handy for when you get home - they are much more comfortable than what you will probably get at the hospital.

Don't be afraid to let the baby cry. It is their only form of exercise and sometimes you just have to get something done –like take a shower or eat lunch. 3 minutes of a newborn cry feels like 3 hours to the mom, but keep an eye on the clock and you will realize they weren't crying that long.

Don't let the lactation consultants freak you out!! Don't get me wrong, some are very nice and very realistic, but there are some that are very die-hard and they can panic you for no reason. I don't believe in nipple confusion - I have never talked to anyone who had their infant give up the breast for a silicon pacifier or bottle. Give your baby a pacifier if she is a sucker and get her on a bottle as soon as you want to. I had one consultant yell at me for even having a pacifier in Kyle's bassinet.

Regarding breast feeding - the let down of your milk can be painful- imagine your nipples clamped in a vice. Apparently this happens to 20% of nursing moms and I am one of those lucky ones. It lasts about 10 seconds. I thought I had a yeast infection when it first happened.

If you are going to pump, start early - 2 weeks or so. Pump on one side, while she is nursing on the other at first, so you can start to build up your supply - you can never have too much mommy's milk.

Always have a phone and drink of water and remote close by while breastfeeding. Phone never fails to ring as soon as you are sitting on couch and baby is either happily nursing or sound asleep on you.

Buy an immersion blender and just stick it in the pot / bowl of fruits/ veggies. Don’t use a plastic cuisinart from china.

Babies are loud when they poop. You will be shocked. I called the doctor. No one told me this was normal.

Even girls will pee on you. Learn to change diapers QUICKLY to protect yourself.

Nap with baby when you can. She will be snuggly and smell good and make cute noises.

When you are up at crazy hours of the night, be sure to check out what’s going on at neighbors’ houses –who is up, who is just getting home, etc and enjoy the feeling that you and baby are only people in the world (other than sleeping husband… grrr ). Also, I recommend the E channel, TLC and Discovery Health.

Pay extra attention to the dog . Get him some new toys and treats that you can dole out to him the first few weeks you are home. Also, at least once a day those first few weeks let Todd/grandparent, etc. stay with the baby between feedings and take Nick for a walk by yourself. It will feel so good to get out of the house for a bit and Nick will appreciate it too.

Get dressed and get out of the house for at least an hour a day - even if it is just a walk or a quick trip to Babies R Us or Target or something. Try to talk to at least one adult (other than your partner) every day. These small things will make you feel like a person and not just a human feeding/ changing diaper machine.

Baby wipes are great – they get crayons off toys and furniture and clean a variety of things. Have wipes everywhere!

Pack your hospital suitcase early in case your water breaks before your due date.

Select a colorful robe with a pretty design to perk you up and to hide the baby's spit up stains. A front zip or tie robe and front buttoned nightgown are more practical for breastfeeding and for getting dressed easier.

Rest whenever you can. Your energy level will be lower and you'll be tired often. Unfortunately, this tiredness increases as the baby becomes more active.

Your coming home outfit should be comfortable and have an elastic waistband because you don't know what you'll weigh after giving birth.

Don't wear maternity clothes after delivering your baby since this will depress you and turn off your partner. Even a cheerful new tent dress is better.

Don't worry about the umbilical cord getting caught on the soap etc. It will fall off naturally, and everything will be ok if it's an innie or an outtie.

Sing a lot and play a lot of light music, especially when your baby 's diarrhea leaks out on your new slacks. Your baby doesn't do these things on purpose. The tough times won't last; the precious memories will. Keep things in perspective. Ask yourself, "Will this really matter five years from now?"

Treat your baby with the care, love, patience, understanding and empathy that you would expect from your spouse or your friends.

Don’t worry, you’ll learn to interpret cries like the "hungry" cry, the "Gas pain" cry, the "overtired "cry, the "bored "cry, the "lonely" cry, the "teething "cry etc. You really will learn to distinguish them and to react with comfort or companionship.

Pray your child will learn how to talk soon because it is so much better when your child can tell you her ear hurts instead of just pulling it.

Time will make communication better. So will a glass of wine once in awhile.

Food: It gets messy. Put a big plastic tablecloth under the highchair & let your baby have fun discovering how to get the food from her fingers to her mouth. As long as you don't have germs crawling all around, don't worry about a mess.

Add good food to colorful, healthy vegetables. Build broccoli trees and turkey breast houses. Enjoy this stage as an adventure.

Don't use the Lennox china baby set; use plastic (be green somewhere else) plates and cups with caps.

Food: If you pretend to like it, your baby will usually think it is great. Keep making mmmmm sounds and smiling. Get used to the baby's strange faces while tasting new foods. Play choo-choo often with the food going into your baby's mouth.

If the fussies don't pass, they will in about six months. Everything passes. I remember when it seemed like R would only eat mac and cheese for a year. She lived and did get vitamins somehow.

If your toddler has coca cola and sugared cake at a birthday party, be prepared for a very hyperactive overtired kid who cannot listen to reason until the sugar, caffeine, preservatives and artificial color wear off. This too will pass. Control what your child will eat for as long as you can.

Make your child think she is very special if she has allergies and has to eat different food. If you get across the fact that it is for her own good because she won't get a tummy ache and it is because you love her, it will work better.

Don't give food to a crying baby who isn't really hungry. Try rocking her in a rocking chair instead. I highly recommend getting a rocking chair for the baby and for you. It gets both of you through many nights of earaches, stuffed noses etc.

Receiving blankets calm a baby and help them adjust to the new world without panic. Slowly wean your baby away from receiving blankets.

They do make the baby more secure. Hands under the blanket, wrapped tightly for awhile remind the baby of being in the womb.

Eventually, the baby will get used to hands out without flipping them around in fright.

Night feeding: Stay quiet and calm so the baby gets to know the difference between day and night (sleep). Just put the night light on instead of bright lights. Change the diaper in a more quiet way than during the day. Feed the baby in the dark. This worked great for me. R and T both slept through the night by three weeks.

Diapers: Sorry, but I'm not green in this area. Buy lots of disposable diapers. Dirty diapers stink. If you wash off your own diapers, you can spill poop on the floor while on the way to the toilet/ laundry room & get very frustrated, so be careful if you use them. Choose sanity; remind yourself that you take care of the environment in different ways.

If you get ointment on the diaper's sticky tab, do not try to use it because it will unfasten, and you'll have a mess.

Make new friends with other new mothers who also start talking funny and who become concerned about mundane things like whether to get a soft coated feeding spoon or a stainless steel one. You need to become a part of a new social network -one that you may have scorned in the past.

Take your baby out in the stroller often. The fresh air and change of environment are good for you & for the baby.

Look online and in the community section of your local paper (the paper that you used to leave out in the driveway / rain/ hallway) for new mothers' classes, mother toddler-gym, mom & me art, YWCA classes etc.

Rediscover bowling leagues, (no, I'm not kidding) because many have nurseries.

Go for car rides with your baby when your baby has the fussies or after your baby gets her shots. Most babies fall asleep from the womb-like movement of a car ride. Bring a book to read in a parking lot while your baby naps.

Have two security blankets, cloth diapers, snuggle toys, same stuffed animals so both have the baby's scent. Then when one is being washed, your baby won't cry and be able to tell you are giving her another new blanket or cloth.

A cloth diaper works great as a security blanket, and it's shorter so it doesn't drag on the car floor.

Singing is great- a baby seems to learn more patience when the mother sings to her while she is waiting for his food etc.

Sing anything. After all, your baby won't know if you forget the words.

Don't expect your life to ever be the same again. There will be more worries but also more LOVE in your heart than you ever imagined you could have for anyone.

Go out on date nights with your baby's father, or out with the girls. Your baby will learn to have less separation anxiety if she has opportunities to see that you will come home after you go away. Play peek a boo a lot at first and get a Jack-in -the box to get your baby prepared for you leaving and coming home. She learns trust this way. "Bring back" a little book or toy (that you’ve bought ahead of time) so she looks forward to you going and coming back

Listen to advice but then trust your instincts and remember…you are the mother. If you need help, admit it and go for help. Talk realistically and honestly to others. It's a learning experience for all of you. If you expect perfection, you'll still have the tears and frustration, but you'll miss the fun and a wonderful experience to grow.

I hated this piece of advice but it turned out to be true… I had so many questions about baby care, feeding, dressing, sleeping, etc. and people often told me…don't worry you and baby will figure it all out. I hated that answer, I wanted to know, what people dressed their baby in to sleep, how did they know if they were too hot or too cold, is the diaper too loose or tight, are they eating enough/too much...etc But it is absolutely true, I had never been around a newborn before my own and you do figure it out as you go along.

Thanks to Court, Nic, Dunk, and my mom for the great advice. To the new mamas- let me know what you have to add to the list, as it's a work in progress.
I hope to have What To Do with a Toddler ready by the time these babies are crawling.

This Capt Sully / Miracle on the Hudson Story Still Brings a Tear to My Eye

The cockpit communications from last week's miraculous plane landing on the Hudson River were released and I am even more impressed with this pilot than I was before, and still cannot believe everyone survived. To think that he was trying to land a plane in a river as he kept calmly talking alternatives with the tower is just mind-blowing to me. Although I didn't know US Air was still around, I think I'm going to be flying with them from now on.
Katie Couric snagged the first interview with pilot Chesley Sullenberger for 60 Minutes, and it will be aired this Sunday night. I'll be watching with a big box of kleenex.

File Under: I Love Lamp

This clip makes me snort.
It's only a few seconds long...

A Bunch of Random Monday Thoughts, and a Spontaneous Trip to the FBR Open in Scottsdale

FAVORITE EMAIL OF THE DAY
In my inbox this morning were some coupons for this month's specials at my local salon. Gotta love California.
This one was my favorite.

I read their "menu" and learned that they also do anal- bleaching. Reminded me of JB's blog about Boyzillians in Singapore.

WEEKEND GETAWAY
For some reason I woke up around 545AM on Saturday and when I checked to see what time it was, I saw some texts on my phone from friends visiting Scottsdale for the FBR Open Golf Tournament telling me to get myself out there. Long story short, at 7AM I was in my car heading for the airport, and at 835 my flight was taking off for Phoenix. We didn't watch too much golf but spent a nice afternoon relaxing in the sun on (or rolling down) a hill near some green that a few golfers passed through.

Some notes to myself, and tips for any of you who may visit next year on how to make the most of this event:

-Bring my "exotic" shoes to be shined at the Phoenix Airport. I have been trying to figure out which of my shoes might qualify as "exotics." The shoeshine man was not present for me to inquire, and I am still insanely curious about his history with exotics.
- Stay at the Mondrian Hotel in Scottsdale. It has white astro turf on spacious balconies, which was totally new to me. Actually, the whole hotel was pretty white. And the lobby felt like I was in a (white) Miami hotel.
-When driving from California, there is a border checkpoint at Arizona with some big doggies that sniff your car as they pass it.
-When driving back to California from Arizona, there are 2 border control spots but they are only interested in you if you have a Mexican family hiding in your trunk. If you are white, they seem to wave and smile. It is pure racial profiling at its finest. Wasn't this banned back in the garden state?
-When at the tourney, drive past the $20 parking lots, there are some $10 lots around the corner
-If you bury your cell phone / camera good inside your purse, you can bring it in. Should have brought mine, then I'd have some photos.
-Drink ahead of time. It's crowded, beer tents were few and far between with long lines. But at the makeshift pub, waitresses come out to the line and will sell you beer. And only beer. Nothing but beer. We heard there was a real bar somewhere but as we shuffled around all day like a packed herd of cattle, we never found it.
-Skip the crowded wrist banding station when you first walk in. There are some further in with no lines.
-Be prepared for a day of only porta-potties... however it is that you like to prepare yourself for such an event...purell, extra tp, some noseplugs. Unfortunately, flip flops are not your friend in these situations. (side note- has anyone seen the aussie mockumentary film "Kenny" about the porta-potty company guy? it's a classic in my book)
-Get a program. It might be helpful when trying to figure out who you are watching.

-Dinosaurs are not extinct. They are alive and well and seem to congregate near Shell stations in Arizona.
-The drive back from Scottsdale is through a lot of pretty desert, and you'll dig it if you're into cacti like i happen to be. There are also dunes as you get closer to SD where I hear they filmed some Return of the Jedi scenes. It looks like a cool place to park your RV and ride around on some quads.

-The sheep must remain inside the vehicle while you make pit stops. Sorry folks, no quickies in the bathroom.

And the award for Best Overhead Quote of the Day Goes to a 20-ish girl, crying hysterically on her cell phone, wandering around in 85 degree heat near the tournament gate, saying " But I've never taken Ecstasy before..."

TIGGER MAKING HEADLINES
So those (approximately 8 ) of you who read an old blog of mine may recall my old buddy, Michael Phelps aka "Tigger". I was glad to hear today that so far some of his sponsors (speedo and Omega Watches) have stated publicly that they are not dropping him after photos of his monster bong hit heard round the world surfaced. (Who took and leaked these anyway?) I say cut the guy some slack. He set how many records? And he's in the off season. And it is technically a performance *diminshing* drug. And he looks like Tigger. A FOXSports.com poll found that 79 percent of readers chose "He's 23, can we all relax?"
Here is the photo if you haven't seen it. It's a pretty decent sized bong. But I'm guessing he's got some pretty decent sized lungs.

Is that an Omega watch he's wearing? I think they have their next ad campaign...

A Day Without H2O

They are doing some repair work on our street today, so from 7AM until 5 PM, I will be water free. Ok, so I wasn't up at 7, but it's still a pretty rough thing to go through and has me thinking about all the stuff I had planned but cannot do today without this vital liquid. (And thinking of the people all over the world that have to deal with this all the time. It sucks big time.)

I started my day off forgetting that I could not
-Brush my teeth
-Wash my face
-Take a shower
-Shave my legs or pits
-Flush the toilet (note to self- Starbuck's visit may be in order)
-Make tea
-Drink water
-wash my hands after applying healthy glow lotion (translation- potentially orange palms)

So basically, without water, I am dirty and thirsty.
And kicking myself for not filling up the Brita and taking a shower last night.
It also has me thinking of other things I cannot do today, if I felt so inclined.
Like wash the car, water the plants, change the bong water, make mac-n-cheese, do the dishes or laundry, or make jello. And if I went for my afternoon run, I'd have to sit around with an even stinkier version of myself for a few hours, so I think I'll have to put that off for a bit.

Looks like I'll have to go sit on my deck with a book and a nice glass of wine, and wait for 5 o'clock to arrive. I am tempted to bathe in the cold ocean, but am now wondering if there is a well in Del Mar.

Fun 911 Calls

Maybe it's the lack of water but I'm in a giddy mood today and am laughing at 911 phone calls. They're all under a minute.
File under: What a Moron.
Heard this a year or so ago, but heard it again today, and it is just cracking me up.




This guy rocks



From Family Guy


I'm off to put out some snacks or something...

I Love Jesus, But I Drink A Little...and Wig Party 2009

Around 2 pm today the sun made a wise choice and decided to come out. The "marine layer" (aka fog) cleared, and it surprisingly turned out to be an insanely nice day again... So a friend and I decided to scrap our movie plans and headed to a beachfront happy hour somewhat prematurely at 3pm today, so i think this first clip is somewhat appropriate. And the second one I can watch over and over and still fall off the couch laughing. Especially the part after Steve lands and is gasping for air, uttering certain expletives and kicking the ground.
Buon Mercoledi!

I Love Jesus , But I Drink A Little


Steve eating shit
Me eating shit


Oh, and apparently, we're local celebs from our wig party last weekend... the fallone siblings even made the home page... http://www.seensd.com/

Goodnight, Sun...Again

Another January day in SD, another ridiculously beautiful sunset that deserved a standing ovation. To add onto yesterday's post, these are from my balcony from tonight...

I really love California.

Goodnight, Sun

There was an insanely beautiful sunset yesterday, so I thought I'd share some photos for those of you stuck in cold weather.

Is that a grenade in your pocket...?

Philip? Is that you?
He just doesn't look like a Phil to me...

Yesterday in the news, I saw my future boyfriend Johnny Knoxville was in some trouble with the law. Something about trying to bring a (non-working) grenade on an airplane at LAX. As I read on, I learned that his real name is Philip John Clapp. I figured Knoxville wasn't real, but had read he was John something. He just doesn't look like a Phil to me. Phil Knoxville doesn't really work either. Do these people name themselves or does some agency do it? I found myself online looking at celebrity real name sites (I know, I have too much free time these days) and some of them surprised me.

Did you know that Maya Angleou was born Marguerite Johnson?
Tori Amos' real name is Myra Ellen Amos.
Judy Garland = Frances Gumm.
Whoopi Goldberg = Caryn Johnson.
Robert Palmer = Alan Batley.
Joan Crawford = Lucille LeSueur
John Denver= Henry John Deutschendorf
Kirstie Alley= Gladys Lehman

Some people just change or drop their last names...
Billy Idol is really William Broad
David Copperfield is really David Kotkin
Meg Ryan = Margaret Hyra
Demi Moore= Demi Gynes
Natalie Portman = Natalie Hershlag
Stevie Wonder = Steveland Judkins
Winona Ryder = Winona Laura Horowitz

A few quizzes for you...no google cheating...
Name these celebrities...
1) A rocker born William Bailey
2) tan big guy Terry Bollea
3) Sexy crooner born Noah Kaminsky
4) everyone's favorite, Bernice Frankel
5) funny man Jacob Cohen
6) wig afficionado Reginald Kenneth Dwight

Oh and btw- I heard from a trusted source that Johnny/ Phil does not look so dazzling in person. I was crushed. Anyone seen him lately?

Looks like I May Be Heading Off Again...

Just when I was considering adding "think about settling down for a bit" to my to do list, it looks like I may be relocating.
I have an important job application to fill out this week
Tell me this "job" description was not tailor made for yours truly..

Australia offers up 'best job': lounge in paradise

SYDNEY, Australia– Position: Island caretaker. Duties: Lazing around Australia's Great Barrier Reef for six months. Salary: 150,000 Australian dollars ($100,000).

Unemployed, take heart — the aforementioned job ad is for real. Billing it the "Best Job in the World," the tourism department in Australia's Queensland state on Tuesday said it was seeking one lucky person to spend half a year relaxing on Hamilton Island, part of the country's Whitsunday Islands, while promoting the island on a blog.

The move is part of a AU$1.7 million campaign to boost tourism in the state. In exchange for the plush salary, free accommodation in an oceanfront villa and airfare from the winner's home country, the "employee" will be required to stroll the island's white sand beaches, snorkel, maybe take a dip in the pool — and post photos and videos of his or her experiences on a weekly blog.

"It'll be huge," Tourism Whitsundays chief executive Peter O'Reilly said, adding he expected thousands will apply.

Applications are open until Feb. 22 and 11 finalists will be flown to Hamilton Island in May for the final selection process. The job begins on July 1.

http://www.islandreefjob.com

-----------------------------------------------------

Hopefully, I'll be back in scuba gear, holding the hand of a handsome dive instructor, in no time.

Better dust off my Australian dictionary and start practicing...

Helmut's Chalet

A group of us went skiing in Vail for New Years' and had a fabulous time, thanks in part to some of the fun decorative things we found scattered throughout the Bavarian-ly decorated rental house. If you're looking for a place in Vail, and have an extra 2.5 million to throw around...good news, it's on the market. It was hardly a trailer, however, we were very disappointed to find that there were no pens, oven mitts, spoon rests, stainless steel appliances, working ice makers, drink holders on the balconies, or outdoor heat lamps. So buyer beware. Guess you have to step it up to 2.6 for those goodies.

The other great thing I re-learned about the mountains, is that in addition to the cloudy tap water, earaches, bloody noses, excessive gas, and water taking too long to boil due to the altitude....when you get winded in under a minute on the ski slopes because you are completely out of shape, you can blame *that* on the altitude as well.

A few photos of the house oddities at the Cortina Chalet...

You had to lock the door from the inside with a key.

No key required for the door window, however...

look out for peeping Steves

The stuffed animal collection in one bedroom, and the morning after...

Just the statue I've always wanted for my entry foyer!
A cute boy. With a dead hare between his legs.

And some of the fine art adorning the walls.
Who doesn't love fallen trees? And shipwrecks?

Bedside statues...

The kitchen had ceramic pigs, and ceramic lemons.

And who doesn't need an outlet on the ceiling? or wooden shoes filled with fake flowers?

We found a photo of the house owner, Helmut, and his Austrian Party Posse, and left it on the table to pay homage to our fabulous host throughout the week. (The house came fully stocked, and with no rules list)
But hands down, our favorite find was the ass photo...

Oh, and we had *nothing* to do with that guy falling out of his chair and losing his pants. Pinky swear.
Happy 2009!