Skymall Gems 2010

Funny and Strange things found in the latest Skymall Catalogue

I've been meaning to get around to this post for some time now, and this week's flight finally gave Motivation a swift kick in the ass, and it came and found me.

Have you ever found yourself thumbing through the SkyMall catalogue while trapped in an airplane at 30,000 feet? And then wondered, "who the hell actually buys this stuff?" and "how much more fun would my life be if i actually had "this* to play with?"
Me too. So I scanned a few of my favorites and would like to share them with you. I hope you enjoy...

When I saw these two items in the first few pages of the catalogue, I knew I'd end up writing this little blogpost one day. How could I not share their ridiculousness with y'all? I am tempted to buy them for our next white elephant / cutthroat polyanna game, but I'm afraid they exceed the typical holiday grab bag spending limit.
Maybe I'll come across them at a flee market someday. A girl can only dream. Or perhaps one of you could send them to me for my upcoming birthday. I promise to share.
This makes me want to think of a Tom Cruise Scientology joke for some reason. And then I think...a hundred bucks? I've gotta try it.

And when I'm done, and my brain is tired, I'll just strap on my gladiator helmet. And enjoy a nice little massage.



SkyMall also has the latest in indoor and outdoor home decor and statues. Aside from the Christmas Story Leg Lamp, you can spruce up your home with these lovely finds...

The peeing boy fountain will always crack me up but the tree face and quicksand drowning man are just plain ass creepy.

And a few more yard decorations for those with more, um, worldly tastes ...





As I flipped through the catalogue, I noticed a strong trend in the pet housing, comfort, and poop-hiding areas. As expected, there were pet stairs and anti-bark shock collars, but here are two new favorites of mine...

Because your dog cares about sports teams.



This futuristic helmet looking litter box may quite possibly double as a space ship. Either way, that cat is definitely up to something mildly evil.

Some toys for the kiddos that you may not find at Toys-R-Us.
This first guy might cause small heart attacks. It says he's 6 inches long. That's pretty freaky if you ask me, and I don't mind spiders all that much. 6 inches is like half a ruler long.
That's a big friggin spider.



You can use this when your friend's spider attacks you. And any other time you want because it looks like a ton of fun. I wonder what else you can load into it.


This is just really cool and I've wanted one for about 3 decades.
I wonder if he can do The Robot.




I found this next one a bit odd, but then thought maybe it was for the more intellectual child.
And then I read the text and was even more puzzled.
Do any of you have children that have expressed an interest in a "hands-on way to discover fuel cells"? In my eyes, that might be cause for concern that I had a terrorist in training on my hands.





I was *so* ready to buy one of these giant inflatable Yogurts or King Kong guys, until I realized there was no decimal in the price.
2 to 3 grand for one of these bad boys??? Seriously?
MAYBE, I'd do it for $500. Just think of all the fun you could have at family parties.Or in Vegas.






When I moved to California, Christmas, and winter, seemed odd to me because there wasn't any chance of snow, and I noticed a stark shortage of evergreens. And there was just something slightly off about putting lights on a pine tree in December when it was 70 degrees outside. So I'd been thinking, " wouldn't it be cool to have a palm tree christmas tree instead?"
And then I saw these tacky disasters.




This page contains a SkyMall trifecta...
1- Has anyone tried the Christmas story board game? I'm very curious.
2 - Fix your neck, AND look cool while doing it. Inflatable Portable Neck Traction allows you to treat your aching neck anywhere you go!
3- When I first saw this What Day Is It DayClock, I thought, who the hell needs that? Ok, maybe the elderly? And then I came home from a trip and got the day wrong. Twice. In about an hour. Then I realized that this happens to me quite frequently lately. So please add this one to my birthday list as well.



These are just creepy. Feet are weird enough without doing this kind of stuff to them...




Looks like the NRA is working on the editing staff at SkyMall.
"Functional accessories" for my home. A pretty rock candle. And a nice metal gun closet.


Who didn't love their footsie pajamas back in the 70's? Or at least love them until your feet got all hot and sweaty and the fuzz started to clump up inside ? (mom used to cut them off at the ankles so we could remove them mid-night, but i think they make them footless now, but i digress)
I've always wanted a good pair of footsies again.
And was excited to see that my dreams might soon come true. Until I saw the patterns they've picked...

The skulls are do-able, but I was really hoping for Pooh Bear or Unicorns.


These are so Mission Impossible, and I'm excited that we can finally have them!
I think I might look slightly suspicious if I ate dinner at a restaurant wearing these, but I might be able to pull them off while jogging.


I saw and read this one, and then thought...

Um, NO.
Absolutely not. Ever.
When I'm under water, I'm generally focused on more important things like pretty fishies, and not dying.
But, if you feel so inclined, You can now make phone calls underwater. Thank god. And Thank You SkyMall. See you next flight.


SkyMall article Apparently, the marshmallow bazooka is a huge seller!