Welcome to The Nocturnal Nomad - The List of Lists

Hi all!

So I finally got around to making a real blog. And I'm going to try to post somewhat regularly. I tried the other day, but I was really stumped for a name, and I figured I should decide on that first, because it's probably one of those things that's a pain in the ass to change later.

So my first thought was 1001 Places to See Before I Go Back to Work...but it's a bit lengthy. And those book people would probably sue me, and I don't really enjoy lawsuits. So I thought, hmm, what can I call it? It was approaching 4 am, and the word Nocturnal somehow sprang to mind. And since I was unpacking at the time, and seem to always be packing and unpacking and wandering lately, Nomad also seemed somewhat appropriate. And I don't think nomads are really the litigious type, so I think I should be safe in that department. I toyed with "The Nomadic Nocturne", but it doesn't quite flow off the tongue with the same grace, and made me sound like i had some type of sleepwalking issue. So the Nocturnal Nomad it is. And will stay until I think of something better and then figure out how to change it.

So as I was making my To Do list for the day (yes, I actually make them,... sometimes, I actually do the stuff) I realized that not only do I have a lot of things to do, I have a lot of lists I need to make. So I decided to back it up a step and make a list of lists. Some of these I may blog about later, others, I'll spare you the details.
Here goes:

- People Who Look Like Tigger - Kobe Bryant, Mario Lopez, and my most recent addition, Michael Phelps...

c'mon . don't you see it??

and my latest addition
twitch! from so you think you can dance

- Fab 5 Fave Freebies-or something like that- Recently, I learned that I'm supposed to have a prepared list of people I could cheat on my partner with and it wouldn't count. I was unaware of this, but I like it, and will definitely implement it. I just have to think about my list first. But David Duchovny was instantly my top pick when asked several weeks ago. And that was *before* his little recent scandal. If he could be elevated any higher than #1, he would be now.
And on this topic, I think that chicks should just get George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, The ER Guys, and The Grey's Anatomy guys as freebies...like the TRSNL E thing on wheel of fortune. Guys, you can have Angelina as a freebie, and who else? Halle Berry? And you can have the guys too. Enjoy.

-Recap of Trips from the Past Year - I have to post photos / stories from quite a few trips. The original plan was to blog as I went. But I'm really good at procrastinating....

-Stats and Highlights from my leisurely cross country drive- # days on the road, miles driven, # hotels slept in, toiletries taken, # accidents, cookbooks purchased, $$$ gas, oddest art exhibits (Mobile, AL which also happened to have *the best* eggs benny in the country, hands down...)





- CA trips- Napa, Carmel / Monterey and aquarium, LA La BreaTar Pits (they found bison and mammoths and eagles and wolves and all sorts of fun stuff in there, and they still bubble and smell like tar, right smack in the middle of LA), Cabo (almost Cali)



-Reality Shows that Don't Make Me Puke -
They mostly involve
--Food (top chef, no reservations...ok so i have crushes on tom colicchio and anthony bourdain, so that helps too)
--Fashion (project runway, what not to wear)
--People falling down (wipeout, american gladiator, jon & kate plus 8)
--People dancing like I like to think I look like when I go hit the clubs (america's best dance crew....i will make an exception here, the bad dancing in the first few rounds of crappy reality shows is definitely a guilty pleasure)
--Beautiful people (Make me a Supermodel...mmmm.what a slice of the gene pool they found for that cast)

???I am on the fence about america's next top model because although I like the concept, and that nigel guy keeps me tuned in at times...
1) tyra makes me want to puke with all her posing and narcissistic setups.
2) nobody has ever become america's next top model. ok, so the one chick is banging bobby brady. whoop dee do.
3) most of the girls are those almost very attractive but butt ugly too thin model types with big facial features that look weird on the street but perfect in vogue with heaps of makeup and big odd hats and/or sunglasses
4) i think tyra really needs some help. maybe her meds need to be rebalanced? sometimes, she scares me a little bit

-Joke for a Smoke Jokes - Was recently trained by a friend to ask for a joke when someone bums a smoke off me. I will one day write these down. And then post them.
For now- one told to me by a nice mexican gentleman outside a bar in Carmel, CA
What did the mexican say when his house fell on him? (Answer below, at bottom)


- People I'd Like to Be Reincarnated As- I'm fine with me for this life, but it would be pretty cool to be some saucy little spanish or brazilian number born with natural rhythm and an ass...or maybe an asian chick (all guys love asian chicks, no?)...or a really tall guy who can dunk a basketball

-SE Asia highlights, and the best of mis-translated English....Cambodia easily took the crown, here are 2 of many...



-Questions to Ask My Grandparents - they're getting old....stuff like how to grow the perfect tomatoes and roses, where exactly they grew up in nyc, and their first family cars and telephones (they shared the same line with neighbors and had to call the operator back then. and then the dinosaurs connected the lines for them)

- Stuff That Should Be in Every Good Junk Drawer- and random things I found in my junk drawers...I recently inherited one when I moved in with my roommate, and the guy stuff in there *fascinates* me. Way beyond duct tape...all sorts of little metal knobby things. I need a lesson.

- Reality Shows I'd Actually Audition for - Amazing Race, Not sure about Fear Factor & Wipeout, but think my arm could be twisted into an audition...Around the World and In the Bedroom with Tony Bourdain and/or Mike Rowe (ok, so they're not shows *yet*, just planting the seed...)
I would totally be up for some makeover show as long as it didn't involve throwing out my entire wardrobe. And Pimp My Ride? ...that's a no-brainer...I love my Lucy, but she could definitely use some updates to bring her into this millennium...I don't need flat screens in each seat, maybe just a giant sunroof, some cruise control action, and a pink jersey glo-lite underneath? dancing light license plates and windshield wipers, too? am i pushing it? OK, just get the Airbag and Check Engine lights to stop flashing when I drive uphill & I'm a happy camper....Someone please call mtv for me...i'm getting excited.

-Easy Green Changes- this one requires some planning- i'm planning to email y'all about what you've done over the past few years to make the world greener / reduce your so-called "carbon footprint" - like switching to cloth napkins, offsetting your flight pollution (continental.com has an easy option now), getting a drain catcher for shower hair...see photo below of packaging for the one my landlady gave me after a hairball the size of a small raccoon was removed from my drain. (Looking back, I really do wish I had asked the plumber for a photo with the hair pile before he carted it off. .. I wonder how often he gets that request) Apparently, this high tech hair catching apparatus, aka "The Hair Snare" was bought at the 5 and dime in the 1960's and kept in her closet (or drain? ew!) I have to say, it looks ugly, but it works. No more drain rodents from this girl's shower.

Ok,I am going to split this in 2 and post more next time... I think I have plenty of lists to work on once I tackle my real life to do list. Or procrastinate some more and tackle my fake to do lists.

Any topics you'd rather hear about first??? What did I miss?
Thanks for reading this far, and stay tuned!
They won't all be this long...


And a special moment of silence for Johnny Cash, who passed away 5 years ago today at the ripe age of 71. I'll let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away.


Answer- Yo! Get off me, homes!